


Caught On Camera

by halfeatenmoon



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: F/F, Unrequited Love, sleepover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-09-01
Updated: 2003-09-01
Packaged: 2017-10-04 07:06:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfeatenmoon/pseuds/halfeatenmoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a sleep-over for Naoko's birthday, a sixteen-year-old Tomoyo goes home to watch her video recording of the night. But at the end of the tape is a scene that she certainly doesn't remember filming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caught On Camera

There was a pleasant silence overhanging the Daidouji mansion as Tomoyo slipped into the darkened room where she always watched the latest videos she had filmed of her dear Sakura-chan. She had spent the entire day wandering about in the weary calm that always descended on her after a late night. The sleep-over for Naoko's birthday had been innocently fun-filled and they had slept well into the morning after talking well into the night. Tomoyo had been in a peaceful half-sleep on the way home, until she finally woke up enough to watch over the scenes she had filmed that night.

She smiled at the familiar clicking sounds as she slid the tape in, then ran to the back of the room with the remote control to watch the memories play all over again. It started off with the comical expression on Naoko's face when she opened the door to find that she was on camera. It then moved on to Yamazaki's attempt to 'entertain' the girls with a few stories when he dropped Chiharu off - and her consequently telling him to rack off, which he refused to do before kissing her goodbye. And then there was the touching reunion between Rika and the birthday girl. The two had had a terrible falling out the week before and Rika had returned to apologise, bearing flowers and a present. Tomoyo's breath caught in her throat as Naoko's angry glare turned to hugs and smiles and tears.

While watching the age-old ceremony of the birthday presents, it suddenly occurred to Tomoyo that she had spent considerably less time that usual filming Sakura. Was it possible that she was finally getting over her crush of six years? No, she still felt the familiar warmth whenever Sakura appeared on screen. Maybe it was just that in the last few months, which had been so painful for Kinomoto, Tomoyo had been too busy being a friend to think about romance. Or perhaps... could Sakura be avoiding the camera?

Still too sleepy to to think the matter through, she looked back to the screen and re-immersed herself in the nights madness. (Chiharu was hanging from the back of the couch, watching a movie upside-down.)

The highlight was easily the most memorable of pillow fights, which began when Rika threw a cushion at a taunting Naoko. For a five minutes or so the video was trained on a slightly wobbly view of Sakura, Chiharu, Naoko and Rika chasing each other about to a soundtrack of Tomoyo's constant laughter. Then the image suddenly went from the fight to the ground as Sakura dealt the camera girl a hefty blow from behind. The camera was dumped on a coffee table and continued recording random flashes of movement while Tomoyo joined the fray.

The battle subsided when Meiling called from Hong Kong to wish Naoko a happy birthday. Immediately the just-turned-sixteen-year-old put her long-distance friend on speakerphone and the whole group clustered around, filling the room with an excited babble. Looking back, Tomoyo was surprised at how uninhibited Sakura was when talking to the Chinese girl. But then again, she was probably oblivious to any part Meiling had played in the latest painful events of her life. Besides which, she wasn't one to hold a grudge.

Only once did Sakura's mood slip - when Meiling forced her cousin to grumble a few birthday wishes as well. At the sound of Syaoran's voice her happy expression suddenly lapsed into a closed and indecipherable facade. Tomoyo hastily averted the camera from her friend's face, but Sakura quickly composed herself and leapt back into the conversation after a few moments with the tiniest trace of a strain in her smile that only the camera girl would notice. By the time Meiling hung up the phone, even that had vanished.

As the night wore on, the light hearted mood slowly broke and scattered, leaving them only with a seriousness that was eerie to remember. Naoko's ghost stories were the start of it all; she had become a wonderful storyteller and despite the bright lights in the room, everyone was left in a more sinister air than they had had after Eriol's tales in the ski lodge so many years ago. The camera had been switched off after that, as its owner had realised that the group was heading into serious conversation, the sort that was best not captured on film.

Back in the darkened room, Tomoyo stood up with a sigh as the picture on the screen dissolved into a black-and-white mess, wondering how much time she'd spent in there. But before she could hit rewind, another picture replaced the 'snow' - a big, blurry, out-of-focus close-up of Naoko's eyes. Then the face disappeared and there was a moment of darkness which must have been Naoko shoving the camera back in Tomoyo's bag. The fool. How could she not bother to turn it off?

Suddenly the video camera was watching the world around it again, peeping out from the top of the backpack. Despite the fact that she was alone, Tomoyo felt her face growing warm at the sight she was being shown, and had no doubt that Naoko meant for her to find this. She might have no experience with camcorders - it still wasn't in focus - but Naoko had captured an embarrassingly clear image of Tomoyo, fast asleep on the couch, with her head in Sakura's lap.

_"That looks incredibly kawaii, you know,"_ said Naoko's voice. Tomoyo froze as the mastermind walked back into the picture and sat down on the floor in front of the young sorceress.

_"That sounds like something Tomoyo would say." _Sakura replied

_"I'll bet. You two are such great friends."_

_ "Mostly thanks to Tomoyo. It's impossible to get angry with her."_

_ "A week ago I would have said the same thing about Rika,"_ Naoko said, glancing off screen to where the viewer supposed Rika and Chiharu were sleeping.

_"Um..." _Sakura had a shy little blush on her cheeks, _"Do you mind my asking what happened? I mean, if you don't want to talk that's fine,"_ she added, hastily.

_"It's okay, Sakura," _Naoko had a knowing and slightly amused face on. _"You shouldn't worry so much about offending people."_

The other girl's blush deepened but she made no movement except for her right hand gently stroking Tomoyo's hair.

_"It started when... I suppose I should say it started because I care too much." _Naoko began. _"Our little group - it means a lot to me. I know we all care about each other, but being one of us... you're the only thing I have. You're my family. Every one of us has other people, though: Chiharu has Yamazaki, you have Tomoyo and then there's Meiling and Syaoran... but I have nothing without all of you."_

_ "What about Rika?"_

_ "Well, that's just the thing." _Naoko's eyes were drawing towards the ground. _"I thought that Rika was the same. I thought that was one of the reasons that she and I were so close - because neither of us had anybody else. You're _all_ important to me, but Rika more than any one. She was the person I could always talk to and the person who always talked to me. I thought that there was nothing we didn't know about each other, that we had no secrets to hide. I was wrong, though."_

_ "So... what?" _Sakura looked perplexed. _"You didn't know everything?"_

_ "She's engaged." _said Naoko, bluntly.

_"Nani?!"_ both the Sakura on the screen and the Tomoyo watching it explained.

_"Shh!"_ the bespectacled girl hushed her friend, who looked guiltily at the three sleeping girls. Chiharu and Rika hardly flinched, but Tomoyo murmured and curled into herself for a moment. It looked as though she might wake, but she merely moved her head a little, getting more comfortable before settling down again.

_"Who is it?" _asked Sakura in a low voice.

_"I can't tell you. I shouldn't have said anything. Rika never actually asked me not to tell, but I'd feel like I'm betraying her. I shouldn't do that, especially knowing how I felt when I accused her of the same thing." _ She hesitated, but Sakura nodded her understanding. _  
"Rika came to me because she needed somebody to talk to. That was nothing unusual, because we always spent plenty of time talking together. But when I heard what she'd had to say I felt furious, because I felt like she'd been keeping this a secret from me and we agreed, years ago, that we wouldn't keep secrets and we'd tell each other everything. Absolutely everything."_

_ "You always did take promises so seriously."_

_ "Rika didn't, though. She was angry that I still cared so much about our old oath and that I didn't understand that this was different."_ she bit her lip, looking concerned_ "I guess I wasn't being a very good friend, either - she needed me then, and all I could think about was our promise and how she'd broken it."_

_ "You were hurt," _said Sakura, quietly, with the same closed expression she had worn when Syaoran got on the phone. She was looking down at her hands, which were still entangled in her sleeping friend's hair. _"It's never wrong to be hurt. You can't help it."_

For a long moment Naoko watched Sakura. Her eyes narrowed behind her glasses and Tomoyo could see that she was just itching to question Sakura further, but instead the girl shook herself slightly and went back to her story.

_"The worst thing - and I haven't mentioned this to Rika yet - is that now I know Rika has someone else. I've still got all of you, but what we had... I think it's gone. She has her fiancée and one day she'll have a husband. So I'll be alone again."_

_ "Don't say that." _There was a determined note in Sakura's voice. _"You neve know what's going to happen. Things change, or sometimes they don't. There might be someone besides Rika for you. Like Chiharu, or Meiling over in Hong Kong, or even Yamazaki. But all of us are here to help." _She faltered suddenly, looking at Tomoyo again. _"These last few months have been hell for me. I knew Tomoyo was a great friend, but I never could have asked for what she's given me. She was always there, any time of day. Sometimes I tried to push her away, but she just kept at it. If it hadn't been for her... goodness only knows what I would have done to myself."_

_ "What happened to Syaoran?"_ Naoko asked, gently.

_"Well..." _Sakura was tight-lipped, now staring intensely at the empty space between her head and her hands. _"Syaoran has never been very good at handling his emotions. He... well... he couldn't help it if he didn't love me any more. But... I... he..."_

_ "He was pretty brutal when he dumped you, wasn't he?"_ her friend pressed on as Sakura struggled to find words. _"And then he just nicked off to Hong Kong. To Meiling."_

Sakura looked up sharply when Naoko mention Meiling, then sagged visibly. _"Naoko, do you really think Meiling and Syaoran are -"_

_ "No!" _she shook her head vehemently. _"I'm sorry I mentioned it. No, no, nothing of the sort. Don't let me get silly ideas like that in your head. No, Syaoran just needed Meiling for support. It would have hurt him tremendously to leave you. I think that's why he was so harsh - it would have been agonising for him because he's really such a softy, and because of that it would have been impossible for him to let you down gently without breaking down and showing it to you."_

_ "But I already know."_

Naoko just shook her head. _"He's so proud, though. If he'd gone to pieces and shown you how he felt, his pride would be smashed."_

_ "What, you mean his pride was more important than I was?"_

_ "Sakura!" _Naoko looked stern now. _"You have to at least try to understand. This was a loss for him as well. Without you, Syaoran's pride is all he has and if he'd broken down, that would be gone. The only way he could hold himself together would be a quick, cold, brutal break-up which he could get away from as soon as possible."_

_ "So he can forget about me."_

Naoko looked up in alarm and even Tomoyo, watching in darkness, was a little surprised. She had never heard Sakura speak with such bitterness before. Somehow Tomoyo found herself wishing she had been awake to comfort Sakura, just as she had been for so many weeks and days.

_"Not at all,"_ Naoko leaned across the sleeping body in Sakura's lap to grab her friend gently by the shoulders. _"He must have felt so guilty. You... well, you don't trust many people. You're so afraid of being hurt if you do. And Syaoran knew that all too well, and he loved that fact that you trusted him. He would have hated himself for betraying your trust and hurting you after all."_

_ "You know so much about people."_

_ "I watch and I listen. You can learn a lot that way." _the bespectacled girl cocked her head to the side. _"It might seem a bit presumptuous of me to be giving you advice, but don't let this thing with Syaoran scare you. I mean, one bad experience shouldn't make you even less willing to trust people. Or to fall in love."_

_ "Oh, it hasn't." _Sakura said, earnestly. _"Well, I suppose when I was really down I said a lot of stuff I didn't mean about how I'd never love anyone again, yadda yadda. I'm sure you've heard it all before."_

_ "Yeah, I went through a phase last year when I read a lot of trashy romance novels."_

Tomoyo took a step towards the screen. Naoko's voice was casual, but there was a twinkle in her eye, a glimmer of something... she didn't know what. Mischievous? Knowing? Both. But what was she trying to get at.

_"But... well... Naoko, can you keep a secret?"_

The girl's eyes slid towards the camera for a moment and looked unseeingly into Tomoyo's. _"I wouldn't tell a soul."_

_ "There is someone else that I like. Love, I mean."_

_ "That's great!" _her friend enthused. _"And here was me thinking it would take ages for you to start making new friends. Or boyfriends, as the case may be."_

There was something funny about the smile on her face when she said that...

_"Well, actually, it wasn't really an issue," _Sakura looked a little guilty. _"I've known her for a long time already and I trust her more than anyone in the world."_

_ "Her?"_ Naoko asked, coyly, that cheeky grin getting cheekier. _"Oh, don't worry, I don't have a problem with it at all. But tell, me, who's that lucky girl?"_

The image on the screen froze. Tomoyo's thumb was pressed so hard to the 'pause' button that it was trembling. In fact, her entire body was rigid with shock and disbelief. She had always wished for this, in the flighty fantasies that were common to each and every one of us, but _never_ had she dared to hope for it. But it was there in plain view for her to see. Sakura's hands had been toying with her friend's hair the entire time, but now they were almost hugging the sleepy-head, only stopping for fear of waking her. It was the look on her face that really spoke, though - it expressed more love and tenderness than her words ever would. That messy, blurry, badly-filmed image was beautiful enough to be the jewel of Tomoyo's collection.

"Wow."

Tomoyo was on edge and when she heard a voice behind her she got almost as big a shock as the one that made her hit 'pause'.

"Kero-chan, don't _do_ that." she said, her voice high and screechy.

"Shh, calm down. I only came over because Sakura's still asleep and Touya wouldn't let me into the fridge, so I thought I'd come see if you had any cheesecake."

The girl sat down heavily, feeling suddenly weak. She dropped the remote control with a clatter and let out a deep, shuddering sigh.

"You've been a great friend to Sakura, and not just since Li left. Did you think she didn't notice?"

"Of course not!" said Tomoyo. "It's just... she said _love_, Kero-chan."

"it much to handle for a sleep deprived girl, eh?" Kero said, hovering in front of her.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I thought you'd be happier."

"Well, yes, I am, it's just that it's -" her eyes widened as she slowly realised what he'd said.

"What, you think I don't know how much you like her?" Kero ruffled her hair. "I'm not as smart as Naoko and I may look like I'm just a fuzzy little cheesecake-munching bulldozer, but I do notice things, y'know."

"Does she know how I feel?"

The guardian beast just raised an eyebrow. "This _is_ Sakura we're talking about, isn't it?"

"Okay, so she doesn't know." Tomoyo sighed. "I should go and see her, I guess. It's just... I never thought I'd be anything but a friend to Sakura. I wanted to be more than that, but now that I can... Kero-chan, I'm scared."

"Of what? Being rejected? Tomoyo, you might only have that picture to go by, but I've been listening to her talk about you for -"

"No, of course not, silly. I'm scared of hurting her. What if I wind up leaving her, just like Syaoran did? She wouldn't have another me to hold her up."

"And that sort of consideration is exactly why Sakura loves you." said Kero, firmly. "Now, what good is it going to do either of you if you just sit around pining for the rest of your lives? Maybe you won't love each other forever, but you _can_ love each other _now_. Look at that picture there," he gestured at the screen.

"It's way out of focus and the zoom should have been at seventy-three millimetres."

"And yet, it's one of the most beautiful I've ever seen, even though it lasts but a moment." he settled down on her shoulder. "C'mon, why don't we go back around to Sakura's house so she can hear what she wants to from you, not me?"

"She'll still be asleep." There was a trace of mischief in Tomoyo's smile. "After all -"

"- this _is_ Sakura we're talking about." Kero finished, dryly. Then he brightened. "Well then, in the mean time, I'll bet your fridge is chock-a-block with yummies!"

"We'll have our own private sugary feast." Tomoyo agreed. "You go on downstairs and get some pies out of the freezer. I'll come down in a minute."

"What are you waiting for?" Kero asked, suspiciously.

"Just go on. Please?"

"Oh, all right. But don't you go running off without me, hear?"

"Yes, I hear."

Alone in the dark little room again, Tomoyo curled up in a comfortable ball, hugging her knees, and pressed 'play'.


End file.
